Non-Running Struggle – Have you ever wished you could have a tape recorder on your internal dialogue? I have. Many times. The conversation I have with myself while running is usually forgotten by the time I get back home 30-45 minutes later. I tried something different with today’s run. I pulled my phone out and tried to record my thoughts out loud as I was running. There was a fair amount of gibberish but it was mostly discernible. I’ll try to share them here in this post.
I was reminded recently while listening to a podcast on habit-forming featuring Gretchen Rubin that I am what Gretchen refers to as a obliger. This simply means, in Gretchen’s words, that I meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations I impose on myself. Bottom line, I need outside accountability. It was nice to hear someone else discuss this tendency. I always kind of knew this about myself but it’s kind of hard to admit. It feels like I’m either being lazy or well, mostly lazy, that I don’t meet the goals I set for myself. It’s not the best feeling. But to see that others, and a lot of others at that, struggle with the same tendency, I can see that I’m not alone. (If you’d like to see where you fit in with Gretchen’s 4 tendencies, click here.)
How does that fit in with running? Well, add in my nature of getting tired and/or bored and I definitely struggle with an on/off relationship with running. Lately, I’ve been feeling increasingly bored with running. It feels like more of a chore than something I want to do. Although, I confess, when I’m done, I feel good about it.
I know it’s primarily a mental block rather than anything physical. I run solo 99.9% of the time. It just my preferred way. I’ve had a running buddy twice in the last 6 months or so. In both cases, my buddy was faster than me; by about a minute and a half or so per mile. But each time, it kicked my butt into gear and I saw the effects for several runs later each time. This experience proved to me that it’s not anything physical but a mental block on my running gusto.
One of my better runs in some time. After running with a buddy
I’m still working on how to combat this. That’s where outside accountability helps. I joined the 1000 mile challenge to have a goal that I could keep up with and the FB group helps with my accountability to some extent. I’ve also began working on a list for myself of the reasons why I run. It may be counter-intuitive, but races don’t motivate me. I do plan to look into charity races soon (future blog posts coming) and that may be a great way to combine a sense of accountability while raising funds for a cause. Win-win!
My current list of why I run includes:
- Weight loss
- Build a strong heart and lungs
- To be able to call myself a runner
- Increased energy
- To have alone time
- To think
- As a reminder that I have the ability to run when others cannot
- To escape
- The proud feeling I have when traffic passes me by and I think I’m doing something a lot of others do not
- A sense of self-love that my health is important
My list is a work-in-progress. I’m sure there are things you could add. I’m also considered adding some rewards into my challenge this year to keep up my motivation. One other thing I heard while listening to a recent podcast is that rewards actually aren’t that beneficial in establishing habits. The exception comes when the reward is tied to the habit and contribute to you continuing the habit. In my case, it would be like purchasing a new tank top, or headband or running gear as a reward. The reward is directly tied to running and would encourage me to keep at it.
I think I’m going to set larger rewards at each quarter mark and smaller rewards at each 100 mile mark. Larger rewards would be things such as a new tank or capris. Smaller rewards I’m not sure about yet. Maybe just something simple as an ice cream. Not exactly tied to running but meh…lol. I need to work on that.
In the meantime, I’m just doing me. I’m working on finding the right mix of outside accountability, internal motivation and rewards that will help me reach my goal. I believe mostly what’s driving me now, is the fact that I set this goal for myself and I know I have minimum requirements each week to reach that goal. If I miss that minimum I have to make it up and if I miss too many, it may completely derail me (another struggle). Also, it helps that I’ve never run 1000 miles in one year before. It’s new and exciting; kind of like a bucket list item (as opposed to another 5k or even half). Building discipline also helps when motivation wanes. I’m working on that as well.
All said, it’s a constant state of refinement with goals and running. Trying to stay ahead of the boredom and just pounding out the miles when I don’t really “feel” like it. I’m definitely a work-in-progress. I’d love to change my mindset to one where I felt privileged to be able to run.
What would you write on your list of why you workout? Let me know in the comments below.